The Story of Geneseo Oaks

 

The Story of Geneseo Oaks 

For many years my wife and I have bed and breakfasted in the rural village of Mount Morris near the northern entrance to Letchworth State Park, which is well known by tourists as the “Grand Canyon of the East”.   

 As our days of hiking through the park have faded, our interests have turned eight miles eastward to the historic village and town of Geneseo.  The town basically sits above its name source, the Genesee River valley.  I think of the valley as a broad agricultural expanse of hayfields stretching westward for several miles.  There is something unique about these fields that piques my visual interest.  

That something is oak trees.  Every time we approach the town, I am impressed by lone oaks sitting amid the fields.  Obviously they are ancient;  their bark is dark and thick, with gnarled branches reaching skyward in seemingly random directions.   

When I remarked to our b&b hosts that these oaks were beautifully singular, they shared an informative brochure published by the Genesee Valley Conservancy.  In the early 1700s, the Seneca Indians were the main inhabitants of the Valley.  They were savvy, innovative farmers who burned off the fields to provide for hunting and crops.  In the opportune space left by the burn off, tough-skinned, fire-resistant oaks started to flourish. 

When brothers James and William Wadsworth arrived at the site of Geneseo in 1790, they pursued large-scale commercial cattle farming on the 2,000 acres left each of them by their wealthy father.  As their acreage grew, the Wadsworth brothers prized the simulated English landscape that was occupied by their tenant farmers.  The oak trees were preserved as picturesque shade for livestock, mandating one tree every two acres.  

Many of the oak trees have been left standing today because they do not interfere with mowing and grazing, but apparently they are becoming scarce because burn-offs no longer promote their sprouting ability and acorn germination. 

 Preservation efforts by the Association for the Preservation of Geneseo (APOG) and the Genesee Valley Conservancy (GVC) make the scenic oaks an important part of the village history. Unfortunately, the vast majority of visitors who drive around Geneseo hardly notice the statuesque, almost lonely trees that grace the surrounding countryside.  A brochure mapping out an oak tree driving tour is available by contacting GVC at www.geneseevalleyconservancy.org, or APOG at www.geneseoapog.com.  

  

 

Why Sorry Is the Hardest Word 

A single word has the potential to make a huge positive difference in how we relate to others and ourselves as well. The deceptively simple word is sorry.  Saying and believing in being sorry can be a positive starting point for solving problems, creating trust, and building a climate of forgiveness and mutual acceptance.  However, when or how we use this special word makes a world of difference.  

Elton John called sorry the “hardest word” in his 1976 hit song.  This is because this expression of regret can be used in so many ways.   Sometimes it can be used as an automatic excuse as in “sorry for the inconvenience.” It can be made quite formal, as in “my apologies”.  Or it can become a way of shifting emotional weight to the person whose forgiveness is at issue, as in “sorry you feel that way”.  When the word “but” is added to sorry, a conditional twist may undermine the positive intention of being truly sorry.  In its best form, saying sorry becomes a way of accepting accountability and communicating honest empathy.  

By no means is it always easy to say you are sorry for your words or deeds.  It can make you feel vulnerable or guilty.  Maybe it will increase your exposure to criticism or legal retribution.  Viewed as a measure of power, being sorry may become a zero-sum game where one side wins and the other loses.   

Are heart-felt apologies becoming a rare phenomenon?  They certainly are in the world of American politics.  Instead “doubling down” and blame placing continue to generate excessive posturing.  Politicians want to project an image of strength and to reduce legal risks.   The internet and social media have complicated matters by expanding causes and explanations for every event. When alternative facts can be chosen, it becomes easier to find fault in others, or to blame situations on uncontrollable circumstances.   

The bureaucratic rules and divided responsibilities of an of an organization can play havoc with meaningful apologies.  To say you are sorry for a decision may numb the sting of an impersonal policy, but thoughtful leaders realize that being the first to apologize can have a positive impact on the culture of an organization.  It can clarify a decision, clear the air of rumors, and encourage others to be honest and express their feelings.  Depending on how an apology is delivered, a leader may encourage forgiveness or convince subordinates that an unwise decision will not be repeated.  

A key aspect of expressing regret is accountability. Three conditions must be met. First, taking ownership of a problem; second putting yourself in the other person’s emotional shoes; and third, explaining what went wrong without buts or excuses.  When all three conditions are met, both the receiver and the giver of regret may commit to an enduring change rather than a one-time fix.    

Today’s focus on social and emotional learning in schools is potentially powerful.  Its essence is to encourage and equip students and teachers alike to admit their mistakes openly and honestly.  Recent research strongly suggests that a culture of accountability can have a positive impact on students’ academic performance.   Not just in schools, but across our society, a willingness to apologize and accept responsibility for one’s mistakes is a crucial step toward repairing and maintaining relationships.    

In the movie “Love Story”, the most famous quote is that “Love means never having to say you are sorry.” This presupposes the two lovers are so emotionally bound together that they can read each other’s hearts.  Seldom is this altogether true.  I think a better quote belongs to Lynn Johnston who wrote, “An apology is the superglue of life; it can repair just about anything.”