Why We Should Look Fear in the Face

 

 Why We Should Look Fear in the Face

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

 At his first inauguration in 1933, in the depths of the country’s Great Depression, Franklin D. Roosevelt warned, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”  He described it as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts.” 

 Things like fear of failure, social rejection, loss of employment, a diagnosis of cancer, and near-death experiences have freaked out many of us from time to time. The causes lie all around.  In their mildest form, they produce anxiety.  At the extreme, when we fixate on certain fears, they may morph into phobias or mental illness.

 Now more than usual, our country is struggling with fear.  What is worse, the problem is intensified by widespread anger, which works just as well at distorting our vision, warping our thinking, and spawning hate. Lately the dramas of fear and anger are causing us to “circle the wagons” to stop others from sharing our space.

 Fearfulness causes us to distrust others or even ourselves to do the right thing.  We sacrifice our sense of community and togetherness.  We stop listening or only listen to what we want to hear. 

 Under our fears grows a willingness to blame others instead of ourselves, never to admit guilt, or to insulate ourselves by litigation.   Stubborn ignorance leads us to deny science or delay giving it due consideration.  Tragically, the pandemic has played on some of our worst fears.  It has convinced a third of us to resist life-protecting immunizations, despite a 99 percent unvaccinated rate among related hospitalizations.   

 In no small measure our fears arise not from too little information, but too much, provided quickly by the media, typically undigested and spewed into our minds and ears, absent wisdom or perspective.  Awash in data, we grow inclined to ignore or reject it, believing we are powerless.  Sometimes we latch onto the wrong conclusions, for instance by insisting that shark attacks and snake bites far outnumber fatal traffic accidents or heart disease.

 Not always is fear a damaging emotion.  It can be a survival response as it releases empowering adrenaline.  The scariness of horror movies and roller coasters provides a satisfying rush of dopamine.  And sometimes fear and anger galvanize us into steps that may resolve an issue or strengthen a cause. Whenever there is time, we should stop to examine the underlying worthiness of purpose. 

 I always find it useful to explicitly name my sources of fear as a way to challenge them.  I try to separate anger from fear, and to consider whether threats are real or imagined. And before acting, I always ask myself, what are the best and worst things that can happen.   

 Fear can deeply affect family relationships.  My own mom provides a lesson in fears unintentionally nurtured by too much dependence on my dad who took care of everything.  Throughout her married life she remained fearful of bankbooks, swimming, driving a car, or using mechanical conveniences of all sorts.  When we insist on self-responsibility and independence at an early age, significant fears may never materialize.    

 Fears that edge into lasting illness may respond to behavior modification or more formal cognitive therapy.  Sometimes by seeking out mentors or sounding boards, little by little we may gain self-assurance, start to listen, consider a broader array of choices, and find common ground. 

 Whenever I start to feel afraid, I remember advice given not by FDR, but by his spouse Eleanor who said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”