We Are All Creatures of Habit

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

 

Every day at 3 p.m. on the dot our black lab named Goose appears in the doorway expectantly, ears cocked, tail wagging, vigorously panting, all for one purpose – dinner!  He has trained us to respond rather early to these signals.  A wave of our hand and he races to the kitchen and waits impatiently to down his bowl in about 15 seconds flat.  Then he insists on going out to defend his territory.

Why does this particular pattern repeat so regularly?  Not really because of instinct; not all dogs do this.  Goose seems to have an internal alarm clock.  He is faithfully well fed, and surely, he could wait a bit.   Instead this happens because he is a steadfast creature of habit.  We are too, because we respond habitually to his habit.

This serves as a preface to my message that all sentient beings are governed by habits.  These may be good or bad, but they are always strangely powerful.  Volumes of anecdotal advice give us ways to break or create habits.  Understanding and using them calls for more scientific scrutiny.

When situations repeat themselves during our daily activities, research tells us that, on average, 45 percent of the time we react the same way not as an actual decision, but almost automatically.   Up to 88 percent of our morning hygiene is subconsciously routine, as is about 55 percent of activity at work.  If you live to 80, according to another estimate, about 36 years of your life is spent on autopilot!   

Sometimes we think of these happenings as positive learning when the steps produce good results.  Extended habits yield comfort and stability, even when no obvious rewards are involved.  We call them rituals or traditions.  In contrast, habituation may produce a physical or psychological dependency and become an addiction.   Habits are mostly convenient; no need to think much about them.  No executive decision or concentrated self-control is required.  A cue leads to a routine, which then leads to an anticipated reward. 

Changing a habit is quite another story.  My own experience, and probably yours, confirms that habits can be very stubborn creatures.  An area in the prefrontal cortex of our brains sort of scripts out a memory to ensure that a given context will cue the same behavior each time.  With each repetition, less thought is given to the rational intention or goal, and more is given to the contextual cue.  Our subconscious mind seems to declare, “Do what you’ve always done, so you’ll get what you’ve always gotten!” 

What’s wrong with that?   No problem, unless we decide, or are pressed by circumstances, to change intentions quickly, or to give what we do a lot of forethought.  Remember those cartoons where Donald Duck faces a fiendish choice and realizes two little ducks are sitting on either shoulder.  The one with a halo says “stop” while the other one, holding a pitchfork, whispers, “Oh go ahead.”  The guardian angel is our rational mind, the source of conscious willpower, and typically he wins when a single decision is to be made.   The devilish duck is our nonconscious mentality, and if the pitchfork is applied repeatedly, he morphs into a habit. 

 Most purposes can become almost intuitive preferences when repeated often enough.  Psychologist Wendy Wood, after decades applying neuroscience to the issues, concludes that habits are almost like a second self.  Without realizing it, we reconcile ourselves to choices we have already made, cave in to the repetitive settings or context in which previous decisions were made, and perpetuate automatic steps even after taking a break from the situation or getting only an infrequent reward from doing so.

I have always praised those who exercise great self-control or self-denial since they seem to accomplish great things by means of grit.   It turns out that most self-controllers are just better at automating their patterns of behavior.  They meet goals without serious struggles because they have acquired the right habits.  Beneficial actions become their default choices.  Repetition and efficiency reinforce those choices.

Environmental changes have a dominant effect on both good and bad habits.   The current COVID pandemic provides a case in point.  For all kinds of safety or economic reasons, according to a new Pew Research Center survey, about one in five adults say they either changed their residence because of the pandemic, or they know someone who did.  Like it or not, such moves produce a change of scenery that can declutter your habitual landscape and provide fertile ground for new and hopefully better habits.  Meanwhile, when confined to our current home environments, daily routines may be altered drastically.  Everything from hygiene to technology, and from home-school connections to organizing closets is changed.  As a result, the virus may be moving us toward new habits that no reforms could ever mandate.  

Unfortunately, there is ample data to suggest that old habits die hard.   When change is forced upon us, we may revert to thinking without thinking.  Feelings of vulnerability, depression, and poor assessments of risk begin to distort our perspective.

Habits can be curse or a benefit, but they are not a fixed destiny.  Simply put, they are embedded in a loop that begins with a cue and ends with a reward.  In between lie routines.  The best route is to examine the routine, develop a plan to shake it up with a new goal in mind, and you will start to like your life a lot better. Soon you won’t even have to think about it.   

 

 

The Universe in a Spider’s Web

By Jeffrey Bowen

 

Yesterday I discovered the universe

In a spider’s web,

Perfectly constructed to give but hold.

With constellations in the center,

Every strand holds a drop of dew,

Lighting the route to imagination,

A black hole in my back yard

From which nothing will escape,

And time can disappear.

 

JMB

915/2020

The Power of Nonverbal Communication

 

The Power of Nonverbal Communication

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

 

 Recently I was chatting with a young Vietnamese woman whose English-speaking ability was limited.  A face mask muffled her voice.  As she struggled with words, I concentrated on what she was trying to say.  Suddenly I realized I was reacting as much to her eyes as to her words, while watching her posture and gestures for clues.

 

I noticed her eyebrows furrowed when she was puzzled, and the corners of her eyes crinkled and narrowed when was smiling.  Surprise widened her eyes at certain points.  Her thumbs turned up with approval when she liked my praise.  She looked up and to the side when confounded by an unfamiliar word.  Her whole package of nonverbal expression helped me react despite never seeing her lips or hearing clearly what she actually said.    

 

In fact, research suggests that we judge people almost instantly by their whole visual package.   Upwards of 93 percent of all interpersonal communication is said to be nonverbal.  Much of it depends on the face, which is key to our grasping impressions that may last only a blink.  

 

Our ability to discern facial emotions quickly is amazing.  Thought to be innate, and proven to be culturally universal, the emotion of happiness is the easiest to spot, followed with increasing difficulty by sadness, anger, disgust, and fear.  It is easy to believe that eyes are windows to the soul because they have great capacity to give as well as receive emotions.

 

The corona pandemic challenges us to communicate with body language.  Social isolation has rapidly improved video technology.  Zoom meetings or the equivalent on the internet set the stage for awesome networking.  But certain nonverbal concerns may be missed during a meeting.  Posture, hand gestures, facial expressions, and definitely direct eye contact may complement or interfere with your Zoom partner’s heard message.  

Many years of trial and error in social relationships have enabled me to develop a stock of reliable nonverbal practices.  Most are aimed at encouraging and sympathizing with individuals instead of rejecting or criticizing what they have to say.  Teachers and parents should try these out in either live or video situations:  (1)  don’t blink too much and maintain consistent, but not overtly constant, eye contact with your subject; (2) stand up straight, face your subject directly, and lean slightly forward when engaging; (3) nod a lot because it shows you are attentive and listening; (4) smile plenty but remember there are 17 different kinds of smiles, and only six communicate happiness (you should rehearse which ones); (5) appear thoughtful by holding your chin and tilting your head; (6) keep your arms open because this welcomes ideas and indicates acceptance; (7) use a variety of attention-getting gestures.

 On the other hand, I avoid folding my arms, shrugging, and shaking my head.  There are dozens of vocal techniques to keep your subject’s attention.  One of the best is to expressively vary your voice.  Remember, monotones and monotony go together.  

At the beginning I mentioned face masks.  These need not hinder communication.  Their main purpose is protection from disease.  However, masks also have a varied and colorful history, one well worth investigating. It is reassuring that up to 80 percent of us can detect emotions like happy, sad, or angry even when someone is wearing a mask. All by itself a mask sends a telling nonverbal message.  In the throes of a worldwide pandemic, a protective mask demonstrates our mutual commitment.  Think of it as a personal billboard saying we stick together and care about each other.        

 

Resurrecting the Vasa

By Jeffrey Bowen

 

Under a bright blue sky on August 10, 1628, a day with pleasantly light winds, a massive 226-foot warship, towering four stories or 172 feet above the waterline and loaded with rigging and sails, eased its way into the Bay of Stockholm, Sweden on its maiden voyage. 

 

The ship had been built on orders from Sweden’s King Gustavus Adolphus.  Named after the royal house, the Vasa was viewed by the king as an imposing symbol of his country’s intention to dominate the Baltic, both militarily and economically.

 

 At the time, Sweden was engaged in an eight-year war with Poland-Lithuania.  The naval battles had not been going well.  A single storm had destroyed 10 of Sweden’s best ships.  Along with sister ships under construction, the Vasa was an artillery-laden attempt to turn the tide.  

 

The galleon was uniquely armed with two full decks of 62 bronze cannons, and was richly decorated with about 500 sculptures and cultural ornaments.  It must have been quite a colorful sight for the excited spectators who lined the shore.

 

Excitement shifted to horror as the Vasa drifted several hundred feet offshore, encountered a modest breeze, listed steeply onto its side, took on water through its open gun ports, and sank in 105 feet of water.

 

Four centuries later, the Vasa is quite intact and marvelously restored, sitting in a naval museum on the shore of the harbor.  The vessel is visited by millions of tourists annually.  My wife Hillary and I were among those visitors in 2016.

The four floors of the Vasa are accessible by stairs or elevator.  Each floor highlights different aspects of 17^th century Swedish life.  What truly captured our imagination is the story of the ship’s destiny after its watery demise, and the lessons we have learned from it.  

 

The seaworthiness of the Vasa was questionable long before its launch.  There was too much elevated construction above the water line, with a narrow hull, heavy cannons, and little ballast in the hold.  The king had repeatedly interfered with construction and had impatiently pushed for an early launch.

 

 The potential lurch of the ship was tested by 30 crew members who were told to run fast from one side of the ship to the other.  After three times, the test was terminated because the tilt became potentially disastrous.  

 

A naval inquest was conducted, but ultimately no official was blamed and punished.  Perhaps this was because the specifications and armaments had been repeatedly revised by the king himself.  The investigators concluded, “Only God knows.”

 

Although its valuable cannons were removed not long after the sinking, the galleon lay in murky obscurity for several hundred years.  Not until 1956 was the vessel finally relocated by an amateur archeologist.  Anaerobic conditions preserved most of the wood, cloth, and leather on the ship.  Heroic dredging and thousands of dives eventually brought the Vasa to its museum location where it has undergone continuous restoration since 1961.   

 

The preservation of the Vasa represents an impressive combination of marine archeology, advanced technology and engineering, national willpower and inspiration. When we visited Stockholm, we nearly overlooked the opportunity to visit a ship that never went to war, sank ignominiously, and lay mostly forgotten in the salty mud for centuries.  It seems that history may be neglected, but its symbols eventually return to us with valuable lessons about who we really are. 

 

6/2020          

 

A Cup of Tea Makes Everything Better

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

The tranquil pleasures of tea have special relevance for many of us with British family backgrounds.  My mother and grandmother, both born in England, were inveterate tea drinkers, with plenty of milk and sugar in the mix.  Naturally, I prefer tea this way.  

On both sides of the Atlantic, the history of tea is steeped in turbulence.  Although the American colonists adored tea, they resented the mother country’s tax on it.  Following the Tea Act of 1773, 30 cheeky Bostonians thinly disguised themselves as Indians and dumped 342 barrels of British tea leaves into the harbor. In retaliation, Parliament closed down the port, insisted on restitution, and forbade town meetings.  Within two years, moves like this triggered our war of independence.

Recently I rediscovered the sturdy role tea plays in the mental and emotional health of the United Kingdom.  In his best seller, The Splendid and the Vile, Erik Larson documents the eccentrically heroic home life of Winston Churchill and his family during the Nazi blitz of London in World War II.  Larson devotes an entire chapter to tea, calling it the “universal balm for the trauma of war.”  He writes, “It was the thing that helped people cope.  People made tea during air raids and after air raids, and on breaks between retrieving bodies from shattered buildings.”  

When tea was rationed at two ounces daily, enough for just three cups, Churchill’s closest scientific advisor warned of a devastating effect on morale.  Somehow, as long as there was tea, there would be an England.  Thankfully, stiff upper lips prevailed until the restriction was finally removed in 1952 amid great celebration.  Nowadays 63 percent of the British drink tea daily.  

I think of the Brit’s amazing ability to carry on despite adversity every time I see the saying on my wife’s tea mug, “Keep calm and drink tea.”  Popular quotes about tea testify to its importance in our lives.  For instance, when I dislike something, I am likely to say diplomatically, “That’s not my cup of tea.” My favorite is attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt: “A woman is like a tea bag—you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

The venerable history of tea dates back to China 5,000 years ago.  The past has always reflected a balance between medicinal properties and pleasure from refreshment.  Especially in East Asia, the government traditionally maintains tight production controls.  Ceremonies around serving tea are almost sacred.  Before the 17^th century, all tea was fresh and green, but once a fermentation process was discovered, it became black tea and could be preserved.  Thereby tea could spread globally.  

Despite stiff competition from coffee, Americans consume 1.42 million pounds of tea every day.  This amounts to 3.6 billion gallons.  On any given day, more than 158 million of us drink it, including myself, morning and night.  We like it hot or cold. 

We invented iced tea at the 1904 St. Louis trade fair.  Today about 80 percent of our tea is chilled.  We also invented tea bags.  They were the ingenious adaptation of a New York City merchant in 1908.

Real tea derives from the leaves of camellia sinensis, a small tree native to Asia.  Many different varieties worldwide include orange pekoe, oolong, white, and the  expensive and rare Darjeeling grown in the mountains of India.  Herbal teas are not truly tea, but certainly they appeal when mixed with herbs, spices, and other plants like chamomile and mint.  All variations have gained a legitimate reputation for reducing the risk of liver disease, depression, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.

Besides water, tea is said to be the most popular drink in the world.  It shows up everywhere.  For example, Turkey is where the biggest per capita consumers of tea can be found -- 10 cups daily.  When my wife and I visited Peru recently, we were urged to guzzle coca tea to curb the ill effects of high altitude.  I am not sure it worked, but we felt better.

As I sit here with a steaming cup, I think about my family’s tea customs: the way my mom used to save and reuse old tea bags; my wife’s British cousin’s insistence on brewing tea leaves in a beautiful china teapot; the tea ceremony our son had to learn as an exchange student in Japan; and how I consumed gallons of tea for company on lonely nights as I struggled with school writing assignments.  Whatever the circumstances, a cup of tea just makes everything better.     

An Unexpected Trip Home

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

March 2020   

The minute we walked into the Quito, Ecuador air terminal on March 14, my wife Hillary and I realized something big was amiss.  We had just landed from the Galapagos islands where we had shared a week with 12 other U.S. citizens watching and learning about the island’s strange creatures.  Things were about to become strange in yet another way.  

Having been hundreds of miles off the coast and without wi-fi news about the developing coronavirus pandemic, our group was aghast when our Quito-based Avalon Tour guide greeted us by saying, “I’m so sorry, but tomorrow midnight, on orders of our Ecuador president, the airport will close!  No more flights in or out.  You will have to cancel your connections and travel back home immediately.”

 Hillary and I turned out to be the only ones in our group who were not already scheduled to return home before the deadline.  We had planned to fly on to the Amazon for a week of hiking.  While we fretted, we migrated over to a Johnny Rockets restaurant, grabbed burgers and shakes, and got on the phone.

Our bucket-list trip had been planned years ahead, with expert guidance from our favorite travel agent Mary Szafarski (Airwave Travel 716-560-9209; mary@airwavetravel.com).  She is always calm, honest, and resourceful. Within just a few minutes after calling her, Mary had set up alternate flights that same evening to Buffalo via Miami and Charlotte.  She even emailed us the electronic tickets! 

Potentially being stranded in the Amazon for weeks with no flights out had certainly worried us, but not for long thanks to Mary.  Conversations with nearby travelers, especially those who had arranged things on their own, suggested they would face confounding delays getting home. Fortunately for us, at 4 a.m., when very few were processing in at the Miami terminal, we moved quickly through immigration and flew home without a hitch.  It took 30 hours, but after standing on the steamy equator, thankfully no snow storms awaited us in the Queen City.   

 Now as we shelter in place, we hope that everyone made it home safely and in good health.  Undoubtedly, our next trip abroad will owe its efficiency and assurance to our awesome travel agent. 

4/8/20

The Coronavirus Will Make Us Stronger

The Coronavirus Will Make Us Stronger

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

We are awash in a tsunami of bad news about the spread of the coronavirus and the urgent preventive steps we must take to curb the disaster and reduce the death rate.  Not for one minute should we deny or belittle the seriousness of this monstrous thing, but it may help to think just a bit about mitigating factors.  The news is not all bad.  Here are 10 examples of possible silver linings in our storm clouds of crisis. Probably you can think of many more.

•       Americans have always been resourceful, adaptive, and creative.  It is no coincidence that we register more patents than any other country in the world.  Research institutions and retooled businesses are rapidly developing promising medical interventions, health and safety equipmen   

•    Volunteerism is burgeoning as we look for ways to help one another; for example, consider the thousands of qualified retired medical staff who are arriving to support hospitals in New York City.  Meanwhile, many residents are sewing together home-made protective face masks to share with neighbors.

• ·         Staying at home and avoiding travel is not just reducing infection, but also lowering our consumption of fuel, thereby renewing the environment and improving the climate.  Also, less dependence on motorized transport is encouraging healthy outdoor activity like walking.

• ·         Whether through schools, businesses, and social media, we are developing nontraditional communications technology.  As we become more adept with electronic connections, we are gaining impressive practical benefits while breaking down social isolation and enhancing mental health.

• ·         Family life is enriched in ways we never expected, opening up communication channels among relatives and friends, and improving relationships for the future.  Going through a trial like this together has a unifying effect, despite the many emotional stresses togetherness may create.

• ·         We are learning, perhaps the hard way, that organized preparation and planning for disaster has a massive practical payoff.  What is more, efforts like this demonstrate the need for competent, reassuring leadership across all levels of government.

• ·         We are discovering that the knowledge afforded our children in this crisis may not be measurable in test scores, but certainly can and will be in terms of authentic, relevant real-world learning.  As many parents are discovering, teachers are an invaluable bridge between home and school.

• ·         We are learning that our dependence on immigrants, “legal” or not, makes them in many ways an essential cog in the machinery of our economy and national welfare.

• ·         There is dramatic, definitive evidence of world interdependence. Urgent cues for international cooperation may inspire new configurations of diplomacy, economic reciprocity, and peaceful coexistence.   

• ·         The science of disease is percolating, with benefits that will reach far beyond Covid-19.  New medications and innovative solutions are being tested,   hopefully with bureaucratic delays minimized.

The consequences of the coronavirus are truly at a crisis level.  Yet in every terrible trial or situation there is something we can learn, something we can gain. Besides all of the above, the gain stems partly from perspective.  Perhaps when all this reaches an exhausting conclusion, we may say some good things came out of this mess after all.  Surely we are being tested, and we will grow stronger.

4/4/2020