A Journey Up and Down the River (Updated)

A Journey Up and Down the River

By Jeffrey M. Bowen

Rivers and other bodies of water tell very interesting stories about us.  The stories can be found in our many colorful analogies and popular expressions, best understood with tongue held firmly in cheek.

The directions of currents significantly predict our destinies. Getting sold down the river means you were cheated.  Being sent up the river suggests you went to prison.  The former probably originated from sour land deals, while the latter surely refers to the Hudson River and a trip from New York City to Sing Sing, or Ossining where an infamous prison is located.

 People in that boat find themselves in hot water, even though they are floating on a cold river.  Maybe they are up a creek without a paddle, but one cannot be quite sure why that is always so bad.  Really, being swept downstream may quite enjoyable.  It is popularly known as going with the flow.

All this is fine unless you are headed for a (water) fall.   It is best to stay philosophical about flow because, after all, pretty soon it will all be water under the bridge.

 But there is another condition where you don't go much of anywhere at all.  Encountered on lakes or oceans more often than on a river, you are becalmed.  Just remember, it is even less desirable to be stuck in the doldrums.  Then you are really going nowhere anytime soon.

  Drifting has a bunch of connotations, but I usually think of it as aimlessly wandering.  Still, drifting down a river can be positive if you think like Huck Finn; then it becomes an adventure.

 In fact, tripping downstream or upstream can be either romantic, mysterious, or both.   Otherwise, why would composers write songs like “Cruising Down the River” (on a Sunday afternoon, with birds making love up above) or “Up A Lazy River”? Why do song writers give rivers names like Moon, Swanee, and Deep?  Because it’s a great shorthand for communicating love, longing, or religious beliefs.

  Not always is the romance a beautiful thing because some people woefully croon “Cry Me A River “.  And as for “Old Man River”, well he’s just plain lazy and keeps on rolling along; that is, “Rollin’ on the River”.   Age really does have redeeming virtues.  Consider the vintage rock singer Tina Turner.  Her gyrations when rolling on the river were never lazy.

  

   What happens on the typical cattle drive or mass migrations of wildebeests?  A river crossing, of course!   At that juncture, we get into big trouble.  Just like us, the animals get caught in cross currents, or they wade into deep water that is over their heads.  Presumably they are not getting into the same kind of hot water as felon.

  But far be it from me to throw cold water on the idea because we all have rivers to cross under many different circumstances.  When we reach the point of no return, then like Julius Ceasar in 49 A.D., we “cross the Rubicon”.  If you don’t have a bridge over troubled water, then a river crossing becomes obligatory.

 The time has arrived to stop, tread water, and drop anchor.  There is no time for a river dance.  However, if you would like to continue, go ahead and walk on water.  You will find it helpful to have a rudder and to stay on an even keel.   

JMB

7/7/2017